Bad news for all PHP developers and users of Open CMS. Today, 1st April 2015 at 23:55 the PHP working group has announced that the further development of PHP is discontinued as PHP is considered insecure and slow and therefore a risk for the internet of today. As this concern is serious there will be no further forks of the programming language.

However the development team “Chuck Norris” from Silicon Valley has created some sophisticated interpreter which can convert the source code of all your PHP projects into COBOL  which is considered to be the future web programming language of choice. Instead of complicated variable assignments like

$a = $b;

you can write

MOVE b TO a

now, which looks way more plausible, right? Well after all I think this is a step in the correct direction and the PHP working group has made the correct decision. Do you agree?